yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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