so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
