am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
