Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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