i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
