Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
