We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I wear drunk well.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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