Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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