Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
