i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
