The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
