Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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