yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
