Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I should be sponsored by Trojan
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
