So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
