Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
