"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
