I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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