i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize
