I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
