just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
