Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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