The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
