I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
