How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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