I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
