So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
