I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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