Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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