My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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