just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
