I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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