I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
