Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
