I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
