What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
