I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
