Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
