so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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