Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
