We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
