Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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