When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
