I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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