Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
