READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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