Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
