Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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