Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
