My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize