I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
