can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
