Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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