So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
