Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
